The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, high quality Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, outlet sale Betrayed, or Desperate online

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, high quality Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, outlet sale Betrayed, or Desperate online

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, high quality Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, outlet sale Betrayed, or Desperate online
The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, high quality Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, outlet sale Betrayed, or Desperate online__left
The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, high quality Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, outlet sale Betrayed, or Desperate online_top

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Description

Product Description

Bestselling author Harriet Lerner focuses on the challenge and the importance of being able to express one''s "authentic voice" in intimate relationships.

The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard, that they cannot affect the other person, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain. Although an intimate, long-term relationship offers the greatest possibilities for knowing the other person and being known, these relationships are also fertile ground for silence and frustration when it comes to articulating a true self. And yet giving voice to this self is at the center of having both a relationship and a self. Much as she did in THE MOTHER DANCE, Lerner will approach this rich subject with tales from her personal life and clinical work, inspiring and teaching readers to speak their own truths to the most important people in their lives.

 


Review

"Lerner''s mass appeal results in.accessible and well-organized work that.belongs in all libraries Highly recommended." (Library Journal )

"I love Hariet Lerner''s work." (-Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies )

From the Back Cover

In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:

  • We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won''t apologize or be accountable.
  • We don''t know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.
  • We feel worn down by the other person''s criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.
  • We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won''t show up for the conversation.
  • We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don''t know our "bottom line."
  • We are convinced that we''ve tried everything -- and nothing changes.

Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.

Whether we''re dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

About the Author

Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children''s book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 54.6 out of 5
664 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Insightful and thoughtful book
Reviewed in the United States on February 27, 2017
I read The Dance of Anger many years ago. When I recently decided to work on personal boundary issues I turned to this book. Following some of the principles described in the book, I''m in the process of changing a dysfunctional relationship with my mother. I have efforts... See more
I read The Dance of Anger many years ago. When I recently decided to work on personal boundary issues I turned to this book. Following some of the principles described in the book, I''m in the process of changing a dysfunctional relationship with my mother. I have efforts that result in good outcomes and then I revert back to my old self. This book has helped me to stick with it and to stay true to myself in my effort to change the way I relate. It''s working. He next book I''ll read is The Dance of Intimacy. Thanks for an insightful and thoughtful book.
31 people found this helpful
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Hane Due
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Feels like a bunch of words scribbled on a page, again and again.
Reviewed in the United States on January 15, 2020
Nothing I read in this book empowered me to tune in with my authentic self. It feels like a long list of here''s my experiences of the right way to be in relationships with others. The excerpts are short, dry, and wholly unhelpful. Rather than bringing me to a place of... See more
Nothing I read in this book empowered me to tune in with my authentic self. It feels like a long list of here''s my experiences of the right way to be in relationships with others. The excerpts are short, dry, and wholly unhelpful. Rather than bringing me to a place of understanding the struggles and mechanics of connection I feel like I''ve wasted time, money, and paper by buying this book.

I do not mean to say that this book does not have use for many, but for me I was looking for a book that empowers me to feel connected with others in a meaningful way. A book brings about introspective insight into meaningful connection with others. A book with purpose and insight into the human condition. Unfortunately this book lacks human spirit. None of the rawness of emotions are present. It''s a frustrating read of dry dialogue.

I came to this book with expectations that it would bring me to find meaningful connections with other people in the world. Clearly I came to the wrong place. I don''t mean to diminish the value this book offers, but it''s value to me and the way the title and overview are presented landed for me as a book on meaningful connections. I feel misled.
6 people found this helpful
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Mtlnative
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Good read as always
Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2018
I have enjoyed, and learned from, reading Lerner’s “Dance of....” books for over 20 years. She always posits interesting things to think of in terms of interpersonal communication. Sometimes I feel I need to have some of her “advice” tattooed on my arms and hands 😄.... See more
I have enjoyed, and learned from, reading Lerner’s “Dance of....” books for over 20 years. She always posits interesting things to think of in terms of interpersonal communication. Sometimes I feel I need to have some of her “advice” tattooed on my arms and hands 😄.

I like that she uses a lot of personal anecdotes although I know some find it off putting. But I like that I can have a silent conversation “No, do I really do that?...Yes, it might work better if I....”

I always feel better after reading her books and that, for me, is huge.
14 people found this helpful
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Niranjana n
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
I cant say enough good things about this book
Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2016
I cant say enough good things about this book.. if you love your spouse, but still constantly find yourself butting heads with him/her.. read this book.. i read this book after "The dance of anger". Between these and the book "Five love languages" the... See more
I cant say enough good things about this book.. if you love your spouse, but still constantly find yourself butting heads with him/her.. read this book.. i read this book after "The dance of anger". Between these and the book "Five love languages" the atmosphere of my marriage is vastly more peaceful now!
19 people found this helpful
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Thu
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Many insights
Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2020
I’ve read 3 of her books. All awesome but this one is my favorite. The insights are concise and the stories illustrates them well
One person found this helpful
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Victoria Wang
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Applicable to all relationships
Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2020
Whether you are a man or woman or anything in between, this book provides practical advice in how to approach uncomfortable situations that every human will go through as they seek genuine connection with others, family, friends, colleagues, and beyond.
One person found this helpful
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Charlene Boucher
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
highly recommend
Reviewed in the United States on October 15, 2016
Speedy delivery, exactly what I expected. I highly recommend this author for anyone looking for help with relationships or better understanding yourself. I have read nearly all of Harriet Lerner''s books. I gleaned useful knowledge from every book.
8 people found this helpful
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sarahdev97
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Good read, easy to understand and helpful
Reviewed in the United States on January 17, 2016
I found this book really helpful with understanding relationships and communication. My husband isn''t one for self help books or counseling or anything like that so I tend to read a lot of this stuff on my own. This one was definitely easy to understand and made a lot of... See more
I found this book really helpful with understanding relationships and communication. My husband isn''t one for self help books or counseling or anything like that so I tend to read a lot of this stuff on my own. This one was definitely easy to understand and made a lot of sense. I enjoyed it!
9 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

@Timothy_Hughes
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Deal with People - You Are Gonna Need to Read This
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 14, 2020
“The Dance of Connection” was recommended to me by Brene Brown in her book “Rising Strong”. On the front it states “How to talk to somebody when you’re mad, hurt, scared, frustrated, insulted, betrayed or desperate”. And it’s true. The book walks through “typical” life...See more
“The Dance of Connection” was recommended to me by Brene Brown in her book “Rising Strong”. On the front it states “How to talk to somebody when you’re mad, hurt, scared, frustrated, insulted, betrayed or desperate”. And it’s true. The book walks through “typical” life situations and explains how to deal with them. Often we thing that standing and shouting at each other, expecting the other person to back down and apologise isn’t always the best way to dealing with people and situations. At the end of the day, we need to take responsibility for our actions, we cannot take responsibility for other people’s. Well worth a read if you manage people, if you work with other people and if you have to deal with people in your personal life. In other words, should be read by everybody. By the way, there is nothing wrong with a row, but maybe there are better ways of dealing with things. This book will give you the tools to help you.
2 people found this helpful
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janet Kingston-Davis
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Wisdom in words
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 5, 2018
Lending insight, wisdom and plain common sense to the field of relationships and the complexity of making them work. So very glad that I came across her work which reads with warmth and wit. Thank you, Harriet!
3 people found this helpful
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annenza
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Excellent
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 18, 2017
Excellent, practical and grounded in both theory and real-life situations. The best and most realistic book I have read on improving communication and relationships, going far beyond the usual well-meaning but inadequate advice to just use ''I-language''; highly and...See more
Excellent, practical and grounded in both theory and real-life situations. The best and most realistic book I have read on improving communication and relationships, going far beyond the usual well-meaning but inadequate advice to just use ''I-language''; highly and enthusiastically recommended.
One person found this helpful
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toni lee isaac
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Great
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 27, 2018
Great
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SLR
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Highly Recommended
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 10, 2016
This book was recommended to me. Very informative, well worth reading. I purchased this on Kindle but would prefer the book to make quick reference easier, but that''s not a criticism just my personal choice.
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The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, high quality Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, outlet sale Betrayed, or Desperate online

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, high quality Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, outlet sale Betrayed, or Desperate online

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, high quality Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, outlet sale Betrayed, or Desperate online

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, high quality Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, outlet sale Betrayed, or Desperate online

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